An Encounter with Two Mormon Missionary Girls
As a freelancer who works from home, I have learned to ignore the midday ringing doorbell. One especially annoying visit from a security system salesperson—he interviewed me for almost 15 minutes before telling me I didn't qualify for the free trial—has demonstrated that it's not worth the interruption to my work to answer the door when it is usually someone I don't know selling something I don't want.
However, last Thursday, I made an exception. Perhaps I needed a break from the computer screen, and the giggling I heard as I approached the front door gave me hope that it was some neighborhood children and not a salesperson or UPS guy. I opened the door to two young, sweet girls wearing nametags - Sister Melissa and Sister Ellen (I don't remember what their real names were so I made those up). Below their names in small print it said "Church of LDS" or something along those lines. We exchanged greetings and some small-talk banter about the weather and the fact that I work from home. I'm not sure if it was due to their gender, their friendly dispositions, or the mood I was in, but I ended up talking with them longer than previous encounters with Mormon missionaries.
I don't remember the entire content of the conversation, but days later, I'm still thinking about it. I basically told them that I already attend a church and believe in Jesus. I went on to say that while I admired their dedication, I did feel that our beliefs differ quite a bit. I finished with a postscript about how I do respect the members of the Mormon church for their absolute dedication, their family values, their tendency to be kind, caring people and their reputation for tithing faithfully. I outright told them, and I believe it, that the Protestant church could learn a lot from the example set by the Mormon church.
As our conversation wound to a close, Sister Ellen asked me "do you know any of your neighbors who could benefit from the Gospel message of hope in Jesus Christ?" (or something to that effect) I almost laughed at the question (because, think about it, you can't say "no" to that) but I was stopped by the sincerity of it. Instead I gave her some vague answers about the families in nearby houses.
The entire experience didn't seem like a big deal to me until that moment. Typically I think of these doorway encounters with Mormons as a motivator for studying the differences between what I believe and what they believe, in an effort to have a more informed debate with them and maybe poke holes in their errors in Christian theology. But when she asked about my neighbors, it made me wonder why I had not thought about it before (who could benefit from a message of hope in Jesus Christ ... the obvious answer is who couldn't benefit). I was more concerned with the Mormons being wrong than with sharing my version of the Gospel with my neighbors. Talk about convicting.
Interestingly, the next time my doorbell rang a few days later, it was two of the guys who live next door. One had played a practical joke on the other, stripping his bed linens and replacing them with girly pink sheets and comforter. We were enlisted to store the boy-colored bed linens and now they wanted to reclaim them. In an attempt to act clueless, I made some remark about the strange things people come to my door and ask me, including a quote about knowing Jesus from the Mormon girls and the guy asking for his sheets. This remark prompted a conversation about the Mormon girls, which turned into a discussion about whether or not Mormons are Christians, and gave me an opportunity to share my beliefs with them.
And hey, anything that opens the door to honest discussion about Jesus is a good thing in my book.
This Time Last Year
My life has been crazy and by crazy I mean changing constantly ... sometime in high school I started playing a fun memory game called "this time last year." I love the irony and surprise that comes from looking back at where you were (literally and figuratively) exactly one year ago and how you never woulda thunk you'd end up where you are now, a year later. I figured now was a good time to look back, as there have been a lot of major changes lately, and it's about midway through 2008.
This time last year ...
... I was thrust into my new "dream job" with the fervor of CMA Festival (aka Fan Fair)
... I was totally single with absolutely no prospects or crushes
... my sister (who is also my roommate) was also totally single
... my niece Lily was just a few days old
... it cost me about $30 to fill up my gas tank
And now ...
... I am happily self-employed with six amazing clients and more work than I know how to handle (but I'm learning!)
... I am totally in love with an amazing guy (Chris) who I have been dating for two months
... my sister is engaged and planning a wedding
... my niece Lily is walking and talking and just gets more adorable every day
... my gas receipt from filling up my tank yesterday said $50
If there is one thing you can count on in life, it's that life is unpredictable. I love to look back and see the path that God has chosen for me, and I look forward to seeing where He will lead me over the next year and hopefully many more to come after that.
Oops, better get back to work! I have to send out a tobyMac newsletter today, write an article about Stephanie Smith for
The Journal of Student Ministries, do some Matthew West web updates, post another bulletin for Remedy Drive and request friends for B. Reith and Ayiesha Woods. And I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff ...
When the Dust Settles
I find it very hard to believe that it's almost April. It has been a whirlwind few months and it's past time for an update on what's been keeping me so busy...
January found me focusing on organization, finances and weight loss. So it wasn't really
fun at all but it has started to pay off and I know it will be very rewarding in the long run. I took about two weekends organizing my home office and cleaning out my attic. I had stacks of unopened mail, a box of desk stuff from a job I left in 2005, and a steady frustration of not knowing where anything was ... as well as just general clutter. It is SO much better now - it's actually an area I enjoy working in. I know where to find stuff, and I also decorated. So here's a couple photos to show the fruits of my labor:
Now you all know where I spend most of my time :) Next ... finances. Suffice it to say I've been somewhat irresponsible and lazy in the past and I had to turn that around. So now I'm keeping track of everything, following my budget, putting aside money to pay taxes - which is actually rather time-consuming. For those of you who are employed by a company who pays your taxes and then you get a refund of some sort around May, be very thankful. Think about how much time it takes you to pay bills, balance your checkbook, and file your taxes. Well triple it and that's what it takes to be self-employed. I am certainly not complaining, because it has a lot of benefits, but that's the reality of the challenge. And yes I've been facing it since May '05, but this is the first year I've really taken it seriously.
That brings us to weight loss ... something I started working on in January and am still tackling. I've lost 13 pounds so far and would love to drop another 7-12. I'm competing with a few friends as a way to motivate us, but mostly I'm just trying to get to a weight that I can be content to maintain. I tend to lose and then gain it back and then have to work at losing it again, and to that I say "No more!" Hopefully. And to any of you who might kindly say "but you look fine the way you are" - trust me - I have clothes in my closet that I can't wear and, well, it's cheaper to lose weight than it is to buy new clothes :)
I did get make time for a couple of fun trips so far this year ... I spent the last weekend in January with my good friend and personal stylist Christa up in Minneapolis. We had an awesome time catching up and shopping at the Mall of America. In February I got to spend almost a week in Colorado, attending two clients' concerts (tobyMac and Remedy Drive), skiing and spending time with family and friends who live out there. It was an absolute blast - I love Denver and could totally see myself living there someday.
Someday, but not anytime soon. I've been in Nashville now for 9 years and in the same house for 3 years. And I've worked for tobyMac for 5 years ... these are huge milestones for someone who spent the majority of her youth moving. The last time I lived in the same house for 3 years was during elementary school. And I've never lived in the same city for so many consecutive years ... it brings a nice 'settled' feeling that is truthfully quite foreign.
Work has never been better which I am so totally grateful for. God has been so faithful getting me back on my feet since the nonelective u-turn in my career last July. I have six consistent web clients right now (my top 5 friends and a magazine called
The Journal of Student Ministries). And I still do some design and photography for other clients, as well as a few hours of childcare at my church. I had to quit PF Changs in February because it was just too much to wrap my head around. I am still open to more work, I'm just trying to really narrow in on Interactive Marketing for bands/artists as it's what I enjoy the most.
OH and I finally designed a company logo, business card and letterhead - you can see the new look on
my web site.
Well I better get back to work. Thanks for reading!
Shame on Me
I really should blog more often. I always have good intentions to blog more frequently. I think about blogging much more than I actually do it. I totally respect good bloggers and I desire to be one myself but I fail miserably. Perhaps I may never blog as often or as well as
Paul Wright, or be as interesting and insightful as
Max and definitely never as witty as
Matt BUT at least I could do a better job of putting my thoughts into words and keeping you readers (all three of you) updated on my life.
Especially since my previous blog was bad news. I have gotten good news since then and yet is there a post about it? Nope. So anyway, my employment situation is holding strong at the moment with part-time self employment (web/layout/photo) in conjunction with serving at P.F. Chang's a couple nights a week and also doing childcare at my church a couple mornings a week. Sometimes the multitasking is a bit overwhelming but at least the variety keeps me from getting bored. The whole getting fired thing still stings a little but, well, as they say - "There's no use crying over spilled milk." Meaning, I suppose, what happened happened and I did take away some good experiences as well as some good lessons from the situation. And you know what? Working from home pretty much rocks. It's not 100% ideal but I do enjoy the perks of setting my own schedule, working in sweat pants and not having to deal with any office politics. I am content with where things are now but also more driven to build my business than ever before.
I feel like there was more I had to say but I'm sleepy ... I think my body is still on Eastern time from spending Thanksgiving in Atlanta. It was a low-key holiday - just the right mix of family, friends and relaxation. And eating of course. However, after being out of town every single weekend in November (Atlanta, Houston, Crossville, Atlanta), I am so ready to be home for awhile. I'm looking forward to my birthday and Christmas but there are no immediate plans to travel which is a relief. Although I am sure I will get antsy and plan a trip soon after the New Year.
Media recommendations of the moment:
Music - needtobreathe's The Heat
Movie - Amazing Grace (now on DVD)
Book - Psalms, The Message version
TV - How I Met Your Mother
Web - www.ZoeCity.com
Well, That Didn't Last Long
Most of you, but probably not all of you, heard that I got a new job back in May. After two years of being self-employed, my contract had ended with a big client and I began seeking full-time employment. I had a few opportunities but the one I wanted the most was both a music industry and an Internet job. Perfect. I was elated to get the offer in May and start in June.
Well, the joy was short-lived. Just shy of the two-month mark, my employment was terminated. I have never been fired before. I have never been told I rock and told I'm not a good fit for the company on the same day. I sat in shock, disbelief, humiliation and grief, trying to understand what I had done wrong.
This experience happened about six days ago and I have told the story probably 10 or so times, and I'm not any closer to understanding it myself. All I can say is that I pissed off the wrong person. I trusted the wrong people. I tried too hard to play the role I was given within the company. I was unwilling to move heaven and earth for one client unless I could do the same for each of my clients. Moreover, I feel pretty confident saying that something else happened behind the scenes that I don't even know about.
The worst part of it is that I would have done whatever it took to keep my job because I really liked it. I was told I wasn't a good fit for the company, I was territorial and I wasn't a team player. I don't believe any of those things are true, but I would have liked a chance to improve whatever it was that gave those impressions. I know that meetings were had about me and things were said and my input was never asked. The decision was made that it would be better for the company to get rid of me and rehire my position, and those who made the decision were not even willing to talk to me about it. Even after I requested a meeting with them.
I am hurt and I am disappointed but I know that someday I will be able to look back on this and know why it happened. God has a bigger plan than I can even begin to imagine. I will find other work, life will go on ... for every door that closes, another one opens. I'm excited to see what the future holds. For now, I'm ready to close this chapter and move on.
It's All About the Lipstick
I own a lot of lipsticks. I actually own a lot of makeup, especially for someone who doesn't even wear makeup every day. This is because I like to buy makeup, a habit that started at the Lancome counter at Macy's about six years ago and was perpetuated by my introduction to Sephora in Las Vegas. I especially like to buy something at Lancome (or Clinique) when they are offering a free gift. The free gift always comes with a lipstick. All of my makeup is stored on my bathroom counter, most of it in a Caboodles organizer I got in middle school (it had to wait many years to find its true calling) and the rest, including the lipsticks and various glosses, in a clear compartmentalized acrylic container. You see, everything in my possession has a place where it belongs, even if it's just the pile of miscellaneous papers next to my nightstand. What matters is not whether I am
actually organized, but when I
feel like I'm organized. And I
feel organized when all of my lipsticks are in their compartment where they belong.
Last week, until Wednesday evening, my lipsticks were scattered about my room. Some on the dresser, some on the floor in various purses and some in my Chang's bag. I hadn't done laundry or cleaned my room since getting back from Vegas and I had not cleaned my bathroom since ... well I don't remember. My schedule had been so full and my bedroom floor had begun to reflect how my mind felt, absolutely scattered with junk everywhere. Taking an hour to clean my room on Wednesday night was mentally refreshing. I can't even begin to explain how good it felt to know that all my lipsticks were where they belong.
I just think that we have such a tendency in this society to schedule every minute of every day, to juggle more and more, to say yes, to do more, to be productive, to multitask at every turn. I thrive on stress, on deadlines and busyness, in many respects. But when it gets overwhelming, I have to remind myself that it's okay to take the time to step back and regroup. A schedule is good but a successful schedule must include some margin. And learning how much I can handle while still retaining some semblance of mental health is integral to maturity.
We're all busy, everyone is busy, I am not at all trying to say that I am any busier than anyone else. Every day as the hours fly by, I worry that I'm not busy enough, that I'm not being productive enough, that I'm wasting time, that if I could only do more with the 16 hours I'm awake each day, if I could only learn to function on less than 8 hours of sleep ... but there must be an attainable balance between actual laziness or wasting time and being too busy. If that means scheduling some down time, then so be it.
Okay, I'm ending this post now because the pile of clean laundry by my bed is calling my name.
Leaving Las Vegas
I write this just minutes before boarding the airplane out of Las Vegas, bound for Dallas, on the red-eye back to, eventually, Nashville. This was my 13th trip to Las Vegas aka Sin City aka Lost Wages aka the Entertainment Capitol of the World. It is especially hard for me to say goodbye this time because I also left my grandparents, aunts and uncle ... on my dad's side of the family whom I rarely see. My grandparents live in San Diego, my uncle Allan and aunt Susan in Denver and my other aunt and uncle in Cleveland. My Cleveland aunt, Jo Ann, is in a
Sweet Adelines quartet and chorus and the international competition was this week in Vegas. I figured I would take advantage of the opportunity to hear her sing and visit with family at my favorite vacation destination. It was a working vacation though - I utilized the free wi-fi at the resort for at least an hour each day.
But now it's over and I'm going home ... which has me thinking about how much I love this city and why. My admittance of my Vegas habit (I've gone almost every year since I moved to Nashville) is often met with a shocked disbelief. I have a hard time explaining it, especially to those who have never been. Las Vegas gets a bad rap because people focus on the strip clubs and the gambling but I just see it as the ultimate city ... "The City that Never Sleeps." It is like visiting cities from all around the world, all at once. Each trip has been unique, with varied experiences ... some better than others but always interesting.
There's just something about the massive structures that light up the sky at night, the constant flood of people, the chinging of the slot machines, excited crowds gathered around the craps tables, taxis darting about ... all in the middle of the desert. It just intrigues the heck out of me. After ten or so visits, I began to wonder if I would tire of coming. But I just don't see that happening anytime soon. One reason is that it's always morphing. Something is under construction each time I visit, so I look forward to returning to see the finished product.
The view of the strip at night from my window seat as the plane ascends is absolutely stunning ... just like one of those eye-catching aerial shots at the beginning of CSI. I would love to shoot the city from an airplane someday, but for now I will settle for the roof (38th floor) of the Marriott resort where we stayed.
Also, this was my first trip that I had a chance to get outside of the city and see some of the natural landscape. My uncle Allan found a national reserve, about 30 minutes outside of the city, called Red Rocks. We drove out there around sunset on Tuesday for a tour and much photo-taking. Afterwards, we headed to New York New York for some play and dinner. I sat down at a $10 blackjack table and doubled my $80 in an hour. Admittedly, it doesn't always go my way but blackjack is usually pretty good to me.
On Wednesday, we watched some of the quartets sing at the UNLV Thomas & Mack Arena, including
T.G.I.F., my aunt Jo Ann's group. I snuck down to the floor and nabbed some shots of their performance with my 200mm, 2.8 lense. They did a great job! (Jo Ann is the one on the far right.)
After the performance, we enjoyed a delicious meal at P.F. Chang's and then traveled to the Bellagio to experience the famous dancing water show - definitely my favorite subject to photograph in Vegas.
Allan, Susan and I returned to the Bellagio the next morning for the Ansel Adams exhibit. Very impressive and inspiring! We then crossed the street for lunch at the Aladdin, at the Brazilian style restaurant Pampas ... delicious! After an afternoon of choral performances, we met up with Jo Ann at the Riviera and played some blackjack together. I ended up doubling my $100, winning back what I had lost in the slots earlier that day at Bellagio. I try to stay away from the darn machines but the allure of the bonus rounds (spinning the wheel of fortune, opening gifts, jumping the frog from lilypad to lilypad etc) just gets to me. Then, right before dinner, Grandma won $500 after spinning the wheel of fortune, with help from Allan and Jo Ann for good luck. Much celebration ensued!
Well, that's my trip in a nutshell. I'm home now and going to try to get some sleep. Let me tell you, it's not called the red-eye for no reason ...
